june 15th, 2019

mysteries of the abandoned on discovery channel

the show i'm watching right now is super interesting. i'm not even much of a history buff, but i'm fascinated by the history of all of theses unihabited places, all the work that went into engineering some of them, and how mother nature can just ruin everything. i would love to go visit some.

silversun pickups came out with an album last friday (and i was coincidentally wearing their shirt that i hadn't worn in forever before i found out). i've only listened to it once so far, but i already like it more than their last two. i only got into them about ten years ago with swoon and i adore carnavas as well.

i wanted to mention a couple of e3 games that i'm looking forward to. i've only watched some of the pokemon sword and shield stuff and it looks pretty promising so far. i have a weird history with pokemon (that i should probably put on my shrine page for it). i literally grew up with them starting with red, blue and yellow (then gold and silver not long after) and then stopped playing them for a long time. i came back to the first few games after getting nostalgic about the, and then my friend introduced me to emulators (lol) so i played a bit of ruby. i came back again during sun and moon and went back and played y and omega ruby. i know i've missed some of the better games, but i tend to binge on pokemon and then proceed to get sick of it lol. even though i played let's go eevee (and didn't even finish it) i think i'm ready for a new game on switch now. plus, i'm already in love with gym leader nessa!

seriously, what a queen. she's already given me no choice but to stan.

animal crossing looks really nice as well. it's funny because i literally just bought new leaf after seeing so much about it on people's neocities pages. i've only played the very very beginning of the game, but i'm going to have to settle in and play more of it to prepare for the new one. i know i have quite a bit of time before then, so that's good.

still messing around with the design of this page. i just can't seem to find anything i like. i may end up having to re-do the whole thing eventually.

june 13th, 2019

tinashe - cold sweat

june 4th, 2019

working for a nuclear free city - je suis le vent

so last night i got 61 followers and made it to the most followed page on neocities! thank you everyone who made this happen! i'm so grateful for everyone who has taken the time to view my site, follow, like, and/or leave nice comments! i definitely feel encouraged to continue improving my site!

and to celebrate pride month, i will be posting this video from the internet. this song and video make me feel so warm. i love syd.

june 3rd, 2019

hum - stars

i finally started back on the treadmill today! i started going on in february and had been doing well until the end of april when my antidepressants started kicking in. usually i try to go on in the morning, but the medicine has been affecting my sleeping patterns. they had been keeping me up at night, but only recently have i been able to fall asleep faster (like normal). i've started waking up early in the morning again as well. i just go on the treadmill as a means to boost my mood which has been pretty down lately. oh, and btw i was listnening to hearted's bubblegum playlist which i love so much. i was trying to listen to some of the stuff i haven't heard before. oh, and here are links to my spotify and last.fm accounts if anyone wants to add me on those. i would make a page and link my other social media accounts, but those are really the only ones i'm currently using haha.

i was looking at profiles on neocities this morning (as i usually do) when i stumbled upon a link to friendproject, basically the replacement of myspace. lol, i never even knew that existed. i signed up for an account just for kicks (i'll probably never use it) and it's funny how much the account page actually reminded me about the old myspace.

i also stumbled upon the perfect profile song for my about me page. i'm gonna post it here too. i can't believe i forgot about hum!

june 2nd, 2019

santigold - starstruck

i had the idea yesterday to redo my about me page in the style of the old myspace layout. i was actually going to use the graphics from my myspace days that i have on my photobucket, but i figure it'd look meh with a bunch of pictures (and i wanted to use blinkies and stamps instead) and i didn't really care for the style of the graphics anymore. i think it came out really nice- a lot nicer than i expected. i'll probably still improve it because i can never help myself. also, arkmsworld commented that they like what my site is becoming! that was really nice, because i think i've made quite a bit of progress since i first started. i just want to keep learning and trying new things.

i was indecisive about what to listen to last night and i finally settled on lana. her music is good for a depressive mood, although it puts me in more of a chill state. ultraviolence is one of my favorite albums (i even have the urban outfitters vinyl of it), but it’s been a while since i listened to it in full. i just got salty when west coast came on because i was actually living on the west coast when it came out and it made me miss it. i also listened to more loona this morning. everything i’ve heard from them is really good, but i don’t really feel like looking into all of the members right now. i definitely stan their music though. then i was on spotify looking for playlists when i found the cancer astrology one that spotify has now. i don't usually pay much attention to them, but this one had black out days by phantogram, which is currently on my music page. what a weird coincidence since i don't usually have much in common with the playlists lol.

happy pride month! i know i just put on my profile that i'm bisexual, but i'm honestly still pretty confused about it. i also sometimes lean more toward being asexual. i'm just not interested in relationships right now.

it's also exactly three weeks until my birthday! i don't wanna get older though. :( at least i should be approaching my saturn return now!

june 1st, 2019

the offspring - never gonna find me

i've been meaning to update this for days now. warning: this will probably be a rambling entry.

i reached 50 followers on the 29th of may (now at 58)! and 20,000 pageviews on the 31st! this is crazy. i've never had any success with anything on the internet so it feels pretty weird to have some kind of audience.

anyway, i found a few of my old greatestjournals (an old livejournal clone site with a lot of free features) on the wayback machine the other day. these were earlier ones from 2004-2005. i had later accounts that i could never find, so this is my first time finding anything of mine on there. the journals were private, but what little there is to read (like from userinfos and such) is kinda cringy. lol, i would have preferred to see some of the old graphics i made, but they were hosted on either gj itself or this old site called ripway. the oldest images i have come from my photobucket account. also, it's kinda funny but the song i'm listening to (never gonna find me) was lyrics i quoted on my page. i don't even remember this song. other music i had was deftones (ofc), incubus (they used to be my favorite band), and a perfect circle. it was also nice to read the nice testimonials people left about me. it reminded me of people i hadn't thought about in a long time.

speaking of gj and lj, i messed with the layout of this page a little bit and now it reminds me of the generator layouts on those sites. i don't know if i like it or not. i'm still trying to figure out what i'm going to do with this page, especially when there gets to be more and more entries.

i started a dream page on here the other day. for my senior project in high school i did a presentation on dreams, haha i don't know why. i used some of the info from the presentation on the page because i was testing some tab button html, css and javascript stuff. it came out pretty cool i guess. the first dream i had was a little dark, but the one i had last night was pretty silly so we'll see what else happens. my dreams usually end up either of those ways. recently i had a dream that there was a baseball stadium in my backyard (because my dad was watching baseball late at night and i can hear it from my room). another time i had a more disturbing dream about the elisa lam case i just found out about late last year. it was more concerning the creepiness of the hotel itself though and all i remember is waking up repeating "cecil hotel" over and over. then a while later when i was done researching the elisa lam case (which i found more compelling than most of the true crime cases i've seen- maybe because of her social media and how i related to her depression and such?) and hadn't thought about it in a while this song came up on my daily mix on spotify.

not a big fan of it to be honest.

may 28th, 2019

zero 7 - mono

just felt like posting some music.

may 27th, 2019

portishead - machine gun

i became a neocities supporter today! i just reached 45 followers and was going to wait until 50 but i figured it was time to do so. i was reading that neocities helps teachers show students how to make webpages which is awesome! i’m obsessed with looking at people’s websites on here as well. everyone is so creative and interesting. i’m really glad to have found this community. you’ve all been so inspiring to me. it has encouraged me to take up art again. i used to draw a lot as a kid and a little as a teen, but was never very good. i used to struggle with proportions. i figured if i start small i could possibly build onto some skill. i won’t be posting any of my early drawings of course until i (if i ever) get decent. alright, lemme leave before i get sappier.

may 24th, 2019

zeromancer - wannabe

thank you for 35 followers! i didn’t realize my site was even on the second page of the most followed list. i was wondering where some of my hits came from. by comparison the last person on the 1st page has 59 followers and the first has over 600. interesting. i guess neocities has a ton of websites, but small in terms of activity at least from what i’ve noticed.

honestly haven’t been in the mood to do many big updates. but i changed the design of this page. i’ve been fussing around with the looks of my main pages, but i still need to work on my shrine pages which are mostly a mess. i just usually go wherever the inspiration strikes. i’m like the worst person to have a site, because i do something one day, and then the next i hate it and want to change it lmao. i just feel pretty burned out right now.

i finally updated my music page. i like the vibe of most of the songs on this one. there’s some pretty sexy stuff on there (which of course means that there’s deftones on there). because of this, i probably won't add any music to this entry.

anyway, i probably have work tonight (if the clients show up) so there's that.

may 20th, 2019

aaliyah - rock the boat

it's been officially a month since i created this site! and i already have over 10,000 views! i definitely didn't forsee it going this far, but i'm glad to have found a resurrected interest in web design. now if only i can muster up the creativity to make graphics again.

my airpods came today! i ordered them last friday from best buy (they've been sold out at every store around here) and was expecting them on wednesday. absolutely loving them so far. this is my first pair of wireless earbuds so this is life-changing for me. i thought they were kinda douchey at first (i guess they still kinda are), but anything to enhance my listening experience is a+ for me.

this entry wouldn't be complete without some music. i haven't been in the summer mood, but lana dropped a sublime cover last week so now it's officially summer. also gonna post a song by this korean indie rock band called the koxx (i know). it's been a while since i listened to them, and i need to catch up on their newer stuff now that they're on spotify.

may 19th, 2019

akira yamaoka - null moon

finally got the motivation to change my index and home pages. they were killing me lol. the whole dark theme started as a joke (even though i like some of that stuff), but now i keep coming up with different ideas for things. the home page still needs work, but it took me forever to even get that simple iframe working (which unfortunately makes the page not look right on my phone anymore). while i was working i was listening to the silent hill 2 soundtrack. ugh i love it and that game so much.

oh, and i'm almost at 10,000 views! that's crazy to me. i don't know what i should do for it, but i do have a lot more site content planned for the future!

may 18th, 2019

LOOΠΔ - colors

spent a good amount of time working on my kpop girls page. it came together so nicely, and i got to put a few new html skills to use (and also love when things i want to do happen by accident). i always feel kinda silly for liking kpop, but then i remember how happy it makes me. the music, aesthetics, it's all so fun! but then i feel guilty knowing the sort of things that go on behind the scenes (which could go for a lot of other things that seem happy on the surface). sigh, i don't know.

anyway, i haven't had work at all this week (after working quite a bit last week). i work at a recording studio, so i only go when there when there are recording, mixing, or mastering sessions (my boss does other stuff on the side in the meantime). i do live events sometimes as well. it was kind of nice having some time off, especially since i didn't feel well for a lot of the week. now i'm starting to get antsy.

not much else to say right now.

may 16th, 2019

i did a lot of work today changing the aesthetic of some of my pages. i know now it kind of seems all over the place, but it's hard for me to stick with one thing. i like dark stuff, but at the same time i was starting to get sick of it everywhere and i like cute stuff sometimes too- which suits some of my interests. plus i wanted to find uses for some of the cute things i've found. :)

oh, and i wanted to share this song. i know it came out a bit ago, but i swear banks' music is always a whole mood.

may 15th, 2019

it's about time i've written in here! it's weird, because when i signed up for this site i had no idea what i was going to do with it. i was in kind of a dark place at the time (as you can tell by how emo my music page is), and it's sounds silly but this has helped me come out of it a bit. i still don't really know what i'm doing, but right now it's just a place where i can share my interests freely and work on my html skills (which are rudimentary at best still). the community here has been so nice so far! it's unfortunate that i actually found this site because of the whole thing with dissolvedgirl(sol pais). she was obviously a very troubled soul and i hope she has found her peace now.