september 7th, 2019
i was in the hospital for some kind of procedure and i remember getting a shot and then asking to go to the restroom (i said i would only be a minute). i got lost on the way there because i wasn't wearing my glasses or contacts and i was getting woozy. i also met up with my mom and found the bathroom. then i got lost getting back- some guy was trying to show me the way. then we ended up in the lobby and i heard my mom yell something and for some reason we ran in the wrong direction and just missed some lights exploding in front of us.
september 5th, 2019
i was in a performing arts class and i was sitting in the front row. the teacher was singing some song on guitar right in front of me. then the people next to me did some singing or skit. then we had a break and i left my seat and it turns out fka twigs was about to dance and i lost my spot.
september 4th, 2019
i was at the recording studio i work at and deftones were there?! i was trying to get chino's attention so i pretended to faint in frot of him and he rightfully ignored me lmao. my boss and i ended up getting into some kind of argument and i said i was only there for deftones anyway. then stephen (the guitarist) took me clothes shopping or something? funny we didn't end up smoking weed or something instead but he was super nice to me and was on my side of the argument.
august 28th, 2019
i was working for (possibly interning) todd chrisley and one day he was one the phone and let me do an interview with the lady on the line right then and there. i did okay, except i blew one question which ultimately cost me the job.
sometime between august 1st-15th, 2019
one of my dreams i had gotten quite a few tattoos (i have none irl). i remember one was on my neck and i had one of the mona lisa? no idea why. my mom is totally against tattoos so she wanted me to get them removed. some of them were already fading though.
also dreamt that i was at a party at xchasemoney's house. i think people were doing karaoke or something? somebody sang snow patrol (lol wtf). there was also some white girl getting ready to rap but that's where the dream ended.
jun 24th, 2019
was trying to get into some secret girls club in la. kind of reminded me of the glass staircase
but with regular teen girls trapped in this hotel? i remember wandering around naked at certain points trying to get in. there were shirtless men walking around and working out too. there was a waiting list of at least 100,000 girls? i met jessica jung in the hotel and she gave me some constructive input on my instagram posts (i don’t even have an account i currently use). she somehow did it in a pretty nice way even though she said she definitely didn’t like the dark style lol. i tried to write her a thank you note on a napkin.
jun 21st, 2019
I was being chased for something I accidentally did to a super expensive black car. I lost them and ended up at some really cool girl's party in her apartment. She was a huge clean freak and I can't really remember anything else but the party was fun. The other details of the dream are too fuzzy to really put together unfortunately.
jun 20th, 2019
I was driving in a neighbor's car to work early in the morning. I was in the back seat for some reason and she was driving. We went down this dark one lane road and she stopped the car to let a baby bear cross. We drove a little bit to find a trio of big bears ahead- two brown and a polar bear (how?!) in the middle. The polar bear rammed into the windshield (but somehow did not fully break it). I just froze. My neighbor was freaking a bit. I remember her driving somehow and they were still in front of us for a while and then finally left us alone. Later in the day I saw the same thing with the 3 bears on tv.
jun 12th, 2019
had a dream about being in a murder reenactment due to looking up true crime show cliches last night. i was supposedly the victim hiding under something and i remember it took the killer a while to find me (while dramatic narration was going on in the background). it ended not long after that.
jun 11th, 2019
wish i could remember more of these dreams. i was on a ship with girls generation and a bunch of other people. i remember the ship being super crowded. i know i was dancing as i was trying to get to the other side of the ship (don't remember what song it was- could have been gg, could've been another group). bts were also in this dream, but i'm not really a fan of them so i pretty much ignored them. i had another dream where billie eilish was in my college (?) class and one of her songs came on the loudspeakers (don't remember which song) and everyone was acting normal except for me lol. why am i always obnoxious in my dreams?
jun 1st, 2019
this was a really weird dream. it started out with my mother and i driving to get to a little girl's birthday party that we were running late for. for some reason mariah carey(?) was walking in the street in a dress with a long train by herself. she was in our way so my mom shouted, "don't make me run you over!" then when we got to the party cyndi lauper arrived and was confused about who the party was for. she thought it was for me (since i look young) and called me beautiful and was super sweet. i was starstruck even though i'm not really a fan of her (in real life i've never really met celebs before). for some reason it seems like the incident outside was actually with cyndi and my mom was in a bad mood and had this stare off with her, but cyndi didn't actually say anthing and continued being nice. i took my mom aside and told her, "don't embarrass me in front of cyndi." then there were a bunch of girls who sang and either played piano or acoustic guitar. it seemed like there were other people in bad moods besides my mom and while some kid was performing her mother was next to me holding onto me like she was going to pass out or something. i asked her if she was okay and she replied that she was just going to be happy. and that was it.
may 28th, 2019
dreamt about being trapped in my old college and trying to find my way out. i ended up in an insane asylum (which was somehow part of the school) not as a patient, but as an observer. i remember people fighting in the halls and some girl yelling outside of one of the cells.
one of the most memorable dreams i had when i was younger was one where i woke up in my bed to find my room completely covered with insects and reptiles. it it was similar to the scene out of the craft, which i saw many years later.
mentioned in my other journal that i had a dream after researching the elisa lam case about cecil hotel. all i remember is waking up repeating "cecil hotel" over and over.